This portrait is a meditation on the role memories play in our closest relationships. Inspired by Rebecca Solnit’s essay The Blue of Distance, I drew my grandmother in the color blue, symbolizing the void that currently exists between the two of us due to her memory loss. While this void causes me to grieve for the version of my grandmother I knew before, it also evokes new ways of finding closeness and connection. The more my grandma doesn’t remember, the more I do to continue to remember…the more photos I look back on, the more reminiscent conversations I have with other family members, the more time I spend in the memories she has forgotten. Yet to truly bridge the gap between my grandmother and me, as I sit across from her, I must suspend those memories and attune myself to the present in which memories have instead been distilled into her simple knowing that love exists between us: that I am someone she loves and someone who loves her.
